The BIG CHANGE in My Life

From the time I was born, many changes have happen in my life that I could not remember anymore. Being the only girl in the family, everything I need and want is given to me by my parents so I consider myself to be lucky. Lucky to the extent that I became a brat, simply because everything I wanted is given to me. I am a teacher’s pet (hello, my parents always donates in my school so they love me) and my classmates are envious of me (yeah, really, I know because I have everything from headbands to shoes, in brand new). So you see, being a spoiled-brat that I am, my parents are proud of me because aside from being a multi-talented daughter who can dance and act, to being the head of the governing body of the school and to being the valedictorian of my class.

The biggest change in my life didn’t happen when I was in grade school (I stayed to be the bratty girl that I was until high school) nor in high school (I never let go of my position for being the school President or the School seal in the school band or the Valedictorian title that I had) neither in college. The biggest change happened after I graduated and while I was having my review for the board exam. I GOT PREGNANT.

Okay, you might wanna know why it is so much of a big deal. I came from a small town where almost all people know each other, though we are not that rich, I came from a well-known family. Both of my parents came from a prominent family. Politics and the likes, their brothers or sisters being big farm land owners, etc. So being pregnant out of wedlock is a very shameful act. And yet, the pressure of getting married didn’t push me hard enough to choose to marry the man who got me pregnant. I didn’t want to get married for the wrong reasons. Yes, I admit I was wrong when I engaged myself into Pre-Marital Sex but I think that one mistake in my life should not be solved with being forced to marry the person I am not sure of being married to. Because as we can see right now, more and more broken family emerges because of young couples being forced to marry each other when the girl gets pregnant. And that is one of the reasons why I never got married, I don’t want to be forced to do something I am not sure of doing. Getting Married that is. I want to marry a man because I love him so much and that I cannot see myself not being his wife. I don’t want to marry a man because he got me pregnant, I want to marry him because I want to, because I know that I would regret it if I don’t.

After that, the next big thing that happened in my life was that I rise up from the FALL. I was like an angel who has lost her wings to a fire and has been cast away on earth and tried to walk like a normal human being. At first, it was so hard; I have no idea what would I do in order to be myself once again. But I never lose hope; I keep my faith in God in and myself and in the people who believed in me, my family and true friends who stood by me. And now, after 4 years, I am proud to say that I am a SINGLE-MOM who raises her own child from her hard-earned money. I have a little farm and a business, I write and I blog for a living too. Every day that an opportunity knocks on my door, I don’t let it slip away even if I would only earn a single centavo for selling one cupcake, I would still sell it.

Lastly, I am not perfect, I am just human. I am not God or an angel that I cannot commit a mistake so for all the people who have judged me, thank you for doing so, but remember that you are not God too.

For all the teenagers out there, don’t think that being a single-mom is COOL, or that being married is the answer to your agonies and problems with your parents because it is not. You should be thankful for having your parents to love and guide you and scold you when they needed to. There are more to life than having a child at an early age, if you can’t be good, just be safe.

There is something that I still need to change in my life that is to be more patient. Patience is a virtue but sometimes I get so irritable because I am not patient. I hope I could overcome this feeling because it doesn't bring any good memories to me, and sometimes it breaks some friendships and relationship with the people I love.

The big change that happened to me turned me into a better person that I am right now. I became wise in decision making, I became more stronger and determined to succeed in life because I have a son, and a beautiful one, that I needed to offer my success in life.

This is my official entry for BlankPixel's Thirty on 30 Change in my Life Contest.

I don't need a man - a break from all those reviews

I posted this shout-out in my YM “I don’t need a man” and guess what? A hell lot of people reacted. My teacher in AIS (accounting information system) who is already in Dubai or somewhere in the east asks why and is it because I got pregnant and left behind by the father’s baby. And I told him of course not. I don’t hate men sir, I just don’t need them. Because I think I am better off a single mom than married to a very irresponsible guy. Look I ain’t saying this because he left me, I am the one who left him, and I just want to make things clear. In today’s time being pregnant should not push you to get married (to all youths out there please don’t listen to me or my advices). But for me (I am saying this on my behalf only and based on my experience) marrying because I got pregnant is not the answer to my problem it only adds up.

I am not encouraging youths of today to get F*cked up and get pregnant and then be a single mom. You should think many times before you enter into this situation, before giving up your virginity to a man that you think is the best boyfriend you ever had. Life is a constant change. Think about your future, think about the life that is ahead of you, and think about your family. If I could turn back time I should have done otherwise in order to fulfill my dreams without an extra baggage, but I so love my very adorable son that I don’t live with regrets. It’s just that when I came into this situation I know right there and then that I don’t need to get married in order to save my dignity or my family’s name.

I leave you these words: “Don’t get married for the wrong reasons. Get married when you feel you are ready and willing to do what you need to do and if you can fulfil the vows you will say in front of the whole world and in front to God.”

Roses and Chocolates

I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day simply because I don’t have someone to celebrate it with. Being single has perks and privileges but being single on a V-Day means zero date. I mean, hey Valentine’s Day is for couples, so why think of it in any way? But then again, I was shocked to receive a bouquet of flowers and a handful of chocolates from someone through LBC (hari ng padala). I never thought that somebody would care to send me roses, chocolates and card for a V-Day.

And for that someone, thank you so much.

To Do List on heart's day

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. I don’t have a date because I have no hubby neither a boyfriend to have a date with. So, I wrote this to-do-list for singles on Valentine’s Day.

To do:

· Watch romantic-comedies story (e.g. the ugly truth, meet the parents) for the whole day on the 14^th.

· If watching romantic-comedies make you miss your dating days, try watching horror movies (e.g. dawn of the dead, species)

· Spend the day at your favorite saloon, have your hair spa or hair color, have you nails done, have a foot spa whatever your saloon offers.

· Go SHOPPING. Spend the day at the mall; try everything you want to wear, from the sexy tops down to the mini-skirts.

· Spend the day with your girlfriends, go window shopping, boy watching, eat ice creams, whatever it is that you love to do with them.

· Hit the BEACH.

I am a mother, I am single, and I am PROUD

Yes, I am a single-mom. And I am proud to be one. Life is not easy, whether you are married or single. I have chosen this life; I am the one who made the decision. It wasn’t easy, but I’d rather stay single and happy than married but not happy. I don’t want to marry for the wrong reasons. I am not your damsel-in-distress kind of woman, not even the shy-type one, but I am not a domineering girlfriend or wife-to-be too. I have simple ambitions in life, I have realizable dreams, but the father of my son can’t even show his love for me and our kid at the time I got pregnant.

I wanted a man who has the balls to stand for me and my son. A man who is responsible enough to tell me we will conquer the world whatever happens. Man enough to say and keep the promise of love I want to hear.

The world has changed before me, and I am changing before the world. I know I can make my dreams happen without relying or depending on someone. I am single, I am a mother, and I am proud.